What happens next? — This is a question I have asked myself a million times if not more. Though, there is not always an answer to this question. Sometimes we don’t know what happens next, leaving us in the world of the unknown.
The concept of the unknown future and not knowing what will happen next, is terrifying. For me it is the number one trigger for my anxiety. When a situation arises and things our out my control, it places me in a state of vulnerability.
Taking a step into my past, I used to plan and schedule everything down to the minute of every day. If something did not go how I had planned I was thrown for a loop and would struggle through the rest of my day feeling lost. I became obsessed with controlling every aspect I possibly could in my life with the fear of letting go. When something in my life wasn’t planned out it then became part of the unknown. Though, not being able to go with the flow of life was robbing me of life experiences. I avoided unfamiliar situations, holding me back from living life to the fullest. Every day became the same as the day before, stealing the enjoyment of life.
This is still an ongoing battle of mine. I try my best to limit my scheduling and if something does not go the way I originally planned, I go with it or make a new plan. It took me a long time to accept I can not be in control of every aspect of my life. I needed to learn to step out of my comfort zone and embrace what was happening around me. Not always worrying and planning what was going to happen next.
When I accepted this fear of mine, it opened many doors. I was able to expose my self to new experiences and find enjoyment in things I did not see there before. I can live each day with ease, embracing each curve ball thrown at me throughout the day. My life used to be dull, boring and repetitive; but not its bright, exciting and bursting with new opportunities.
If this is also a struggle and fear of yours, I would love to hear your experiences and how you went about overcoming your fear.