Hi everyone! Happy Thursday! I hope you all are having a fantastic week and are as excited as I am for Friday tomorrow!
I had a thought recently while having a discussion with my family. Have you ever been at a family dinner or some other gathering, and someone says that one little thing that sparks a fire within you? I don’t think I’m alone in saying we’ve all most likely had a similar experience. This was me recently. One little sentence lit a flame within me, but then I sat there thinking; ” wait, is this really something I should let bother me?”
As I grow older (yes, I know I’m only 22), I continue to learn many great lessons and I think this is an important one in my life.
I have always been a person, where even the smallest thing could trigger me. I would find myself getting angry or irritated more often than not. Now what I was actually getting angry at, that was a question even I didn’t have the answer to. At times, I would allow these insignificant, almost petty events take control of my entire day.
I needed to learn which battles were worth fighting in life. I was a person who fought too much, every day brought about a new issue to discuss. Each statement became a battle ground and I found myself constantly wanting to hash things out. This made it difficult for me to find enjoyment in my life and even harder to develop relationships with others. In turn, I created incredibly toxic relationships for myself.
At times it can be hard to keep what you want to say to yourself. I’m a person who loves to talk and express my opinion, maybe a little too much though. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to share our opinions, but we must know the appropriate time to do so. Not every scenario in life needs our input. It took me a tremendous amount of time to learn how to keep to myself, and is still an area I continue to learn and grow in.
Through this self reflection I learned another key factor about myself. I was someone who would be dealing with many unrelated stresses to a situation or individual, but would vent that stress on a place I easily could; the people I was closest to. This was the hardest idea for me to accept and still is. I do not like to think I am hurting other people due to my own actions, but in many ways I was. This was all the more reason for me to make a change. I needed to take a step back, give myself space and reflect on what was truly bothering me inside. Once I addressed my own issues, there’d no longer be that added stress on my closest relationships.
It was crucial I learn which battles were worth fighting or I was going to continue down a miserable path, missing out on moments which could have been enjoyable memories.
When I realized a situation was beginning to kindle a fire within me, I now try and take a step away,asking myself “is this really worth the anger and energy?” Harboring to unnecessary anger was what I needed to avoid.
Life is too short to direct my energy at minute and petty experiences, but rather breathe them in and then right back out. Moving on to the next breath in life.
Focusing my attention on the negative, building up unneeded anger and resentfulness was leading me down a strong path of negativity. It took away positive experiences and created many toxic relationships in my life.
Now a days, I try to decipher with myself what is worth my time and energy and what is not. By doing so, this opened my eyes to countless wonderful sights. It showed me the beauty in life again and helped me rebuild the once toxic relationship I’d been creating.
If you are someone who has struggled with fighting and anger, I’d love to hear you’re story, as this is still an area I am continuing to grow in as well! Feel free to comment below or send me a message!